


Pick a Base

by runningwyld



Series: It's About Damn Time [6]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Episode: s07e08 Hana Komo Pae (Rite of Passage), Pre-Slash, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningwyld/pseuds/runningwyld
Summary: This is a retelling of my story "Did You Mean It?" from Steve's POV.  After terrorists hold Danny, Grace, and her classmates hostage at her Winter Formal, Steve shows up at Danny's house to check on Grace and needing to talk. McDanno pre-slash/slash.





	Pick a Base

**Author's Note:**

> I had a reader who really wanted to know what Steve was thinking and feeling during his whole conversation with Danny. So, this is a retelling of my story "Did You Mean It?" from Steve's POV. I hope you consider reading their conversation again, only this time from Steve's perspective, worth your time. It's a little harder for me to write for Steve than for Danny, but hopefully I did him justice. Thank you.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.

 

Steve stood starring at the front door of Danny’s house for several minutes before working up the courage to knock.  When the door swung open, he grabbed one of the two Longboards Danny was holding and took a long drink as he walked inside. "Thanks. I needed that."  He missed Danny’s fond smile as he glanced anxiously around the room for Grace. Steve was still on edge following the events earlier that night. He didn’t know what the world was coming to when people thought the best way to get what they wanted was to hold a bunch of teenagers at a high school dance hostage. Since he and the team were able to stop the terrorists and safely rescue the teens and chaperones, Steve would have normally considered it a good night’s work and slept like a baby.  Tonight wasn’t normal though because it was Danny and Grace who had been in danger.  Even though he knew they were fine physically, he still couldn’t forget it could have just as easily turned out much differently. And, he sure has hell couldn’t forget what Danny said to him afterwards. _Pick a base._ Danny had told him he could _pick a base_. The words kept running on a loop in his brain – _pick a base, pick a base, pick a base._

"Grace is asleep. She's okay, Steve." He glanced down when Dany reached out and placed a hand on his arm. That contact helped reassure him Grace was okay and his anxiety faded somewhat, at least his anxiety over Grace’s wellbeing.  The anxiety over the other reason for this midnight visit was still in full force. _Pick a base_.  "Really?" He asked, and when Danny nodded, Steve let out the breath he had been holding.

"She seems to be handling things amazingly well – for now anyway. I'm sure there will be some fall-out later though, so first thing Monday, I'm going to set up an appointment for her with Dr. Townsend, just in case."

"That's the child counselor she saw after the kidnapping, right?" Steve knew exactly who Dr. Townsend was.  He remembered how worried Danny had been about Grace after his old partner, Rick Peterson, had kidnapped her.  Even though she’d been unharmed and they found her fairly quickly, Danny worried about the potential traumatizing effects the ordeal may have on his monkey. Danny and Rachel agreed that Grace should see a child counselor and Steve had asked around and found one who specialized in childhood trauma.  Dr. Townsend had come highly recommended and as far as Steve could tell, Grace had come through the incident with no serious lasting effects. 

"Yeah, she helped Gracie a lot back then and though, much to my chagrin, she's not a little girl anymore, I thought their familiarity with each other would be a plus."

Steve nodded, he was sure Danny was right about that and he was glad his partner wasn’t taking any chances with Grace’s mental and emotional health this time around either.  "You're a good dad, Danny." Since the day they met, Steve had known that being a good father was the most important thing in Danny’s life. It was one of the things he had always admired about his partner.

With Steve’s worry over Grace abated, his nervousness over what he was about to do came to the forefront. He walked over to the couch and sat down, but he didn’t sink back into the cushions like he usually did.  Instead, he sat forward, elbows on knees, the bottle he held loosely in one hand all but forgotten.  _Pick a base. Pick a base_.  Danny followed and sat next to him and leaned back against the cushions.  Steve watched out of the corner of his eye as Danny took a sip of his beer and appeared to let the tension drain from his body. Steve wished he could let go of his tension so easily, but he was more nervous than he ever remembered being in his life.  More nervous than his first day of BUD/S training, more nervous than when he was about to ask Catherine to marry him, more nervous than the first time he night jumped out of an airplane. What he was about to do could change everything between them.  He was hoping, god he was hoping, that the change would be good, but it could just as easily go the other way and ruin the best friendship he’d ever had.  He prayed it didn’t.  If he was honest, he didn’t think it would.  He knew Danny well enough to know that even if he didn’t feel the same way as Steve, he would let Steve down easy and remain his friend, after he got over his shock that is. Something broke through Steve’s thoughts and he looked over at Danny and found the other man’s gaze trained on him. 

"It means a lot. You know that, right, Steve?"  Steve had been so lost in his own head he realized he must have missed something because he had no idea what Danny was talking about.  Danny obviously noticed his confusion. "How much you love Grace. The fact that the first thing you did after taking down the terrorists tonight was to make sure she was okay. That meant the world to me." The soft look Danny was giving him gave Steve hope that what he planned to do would not come back to bite him in the ass.

"She’s your daughter, Danny. Of course I love her. I'd die for her and I'd kill anybody who tried to hurt her. You know that." Steve gave a brisk nod to emphasize his statement. He meant every word.  He’d known Grace for almost as long as he’d know Danny.  He watched her grow from a sweet, sassy little girl into a beautiful, strong, intelligent young woman.  While his love for her was intrinsically entwined with his love for Danny, he loved her independently of her father as well.  He really couldn’t imagine loving her anymore if she was his own child.

Danny nodded. "Yeah, I do know that. It gives me a sense of … peace, I guess, the knowledge that you would look after Grace and Charlie if anything ever happened to me."

"That's not going to happen." He hated when Danny talked like that, like he may not always be there at Steve’s side.  That he might be the first of them to die.  It was not a possibility Steve was even willing to contemplate.

"But if it did."

"It won't," Steve stated emphatically.

"Hypothetically."

Steve sighed, he really hated the turn this conversation had taken. "Hypothetically, if anything ever happened to you, which it won't, I'd make sure they were safe. I would make sure Gracie and Charlie knew they still had ohana."

"Thank you," Danny replied quietly.

"I've got your back, Danno." And, he did. If it was within his power, he would always make sure Danny came home to his children. In Steve’s mind, if Danny died, Steve would die right beside him trying to protect him.

"I know you do, babe. Just like I have yours." Steve knew that too.  He knew Danny would fight just as hard to protect him.  He just hoped it wasn’t a mutually assured destruction.

"I'm glad Grace is doing okay, but how are you, Danny? You doing okay?" Steve looked for the answer in Danny’s eyes, not in his words. Danny was a great talker.  He could fit more words into a sentence than anyone he had ever met, but if he really wanted to know how Danny was doing, his demeanor spoke louder than his words.

Danny let out a breath. "Yeah, I guess. I was terrified, let me tell you. I mean, damn it, Steve, those fucking terrorists were holding my kid, and a hundred other kids hostage and I didn't even have a damn gun, no way to get a distress call out."

Steve turned toward him, bringing one knee up on the seat cushion between them. "Hey, hey, Danny. You did great. Don't start thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong. Just hang on to the fact that everyone's safe. That's what matters most."  Steve had been giving himself that same advice all night.  He was just having real trouble following it. 

Danny nodded. "Logically, I know you're right. But you know me. You know how hard it is for me not to think about all the things that could have gone wrong. Worst case scenario is always my default, even after the fact. Sometimes I just want to wrap Grace and Charlie in cotton wool and never let them out of the house." Steve started to interrupt, but before he could say anything Danny continued, "But, I'm going to try and remember that everything turned out okay. But, god, Steve, I've never been so glad to see you and your super-SEAL self in my entire life." He put his hand on Steve's knee and gave it a quick squeeze and smiled. "Thanks for saving the day, babe."

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. If Danny only knew what thoughts were running through Steve’s head when he put his hand on his knee.  _Pick a base. Pick a base_.  My god, this was it, it was time, it was now or never. Steve reached out and set his beer bottle on the coffee table before turning back towards Danny. Then he went for it and asked, "Did you mean it?" Danny blinked at him in confusion.

"That I appreciate you saving me and Gracie? Not to mention everybody else at the dance? Yes, Steven. I meant it. You're my hero." Danny gave him that grin he used when he was half joking, half exasperated.

Steve shook his head.  "No, did you mean what you said when I showed up?"

Either Danny still wasn’t following or he was being purposely obtuse, "about picking a base? Did you mean it when you said I could pick a base?"  There was no turning back now.

Steve held his breath as he watched Danny put the pieces together and realize what he just asked. He could tell Danny’s first instinct was to make a joke and laugh it off, but something must have changed his mind. Instead of responding immediately, Steve could tell his was actually thinking about his answer.  After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few seconds, Danny finally answered and Steve’s heart leapt to his throat. "Yeah, in that moment, I was serious."

Steve nodded.  He realized that he really hadn’t expected that answer from Danny.  He had been prepared for his partner to make a joke or a sarcastic comment instead.  Encouraged, he took a deep breath and gathered up his courage, before he asked, "What about now?"

Danny's head snapped up, "What do you mean … what about now?"

"I mean, can I pick a base now?" Steve was starting to get frustrated. Danny was definitely being purposely obtuse.  He was sure of it.  He just hoped it wasn’t because Danny was trying to give Steve a way out before he made a complete fool of himself.  Even if that was Danny’s intention, Steve had made the decision to lay his cards on the table, so there was no way he could fold now.  He had to know if they had a chance at something more or if it was time to lock his feelings away and never let them out again. He could do it … probably.  After all, he was very good at hiding his true feelings, even from himself.

 "Seriously, we're really discussing this now, huh?" Danny asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I think it's about time we did, don't you?" He didn’t give Danny time to answer, instead he pressed forward. "Danny, this thing between us, our relationship or whatever, it's weird, right? You're the most important person in my life. I love you. You know that. I've always told myself that you are the brother I never had, but lately … I don't know, I've been thinking about it, about us, and I've come to some realizations, some very startling realizations."  Danny shifted nervously in his seat, but Steve had no intention of stopping now. "My feelings for you are strong, Danny. I care about you more than I've ever cared about anybody. I loved Catherine. I really did. I think if things had worked out differently, she and I could have been happy together because as long as I was with her, I was able to keep you firmly in the best friend box. But lately, that hasn't been working so well." _Pick a base, pick a base._

"Steve…."

"Just let me finish, okay, because, I may never have the courage to try this again." Steve took a deep breath and tried to decide what to say next.  He could tell Danny was shocked by what he was saying, but at the same time he seemed willing to let Steve continue. "Despite the whole Smooth Dog thing, I've never been a player. Not really. I've never been a hook-up, one-night-stand kind of guy. That kind of thing always left me feeling even lonelier than I was before the encounter. Even though I've never really been serious about anybody other than Catherine, I've always cared about the women I've slept with. But, Danny, I've never cared about any woman as much as I care about you. And, let me tell you man, once I realized that, I couldn't stop thinking about it. About you. About us. Damn it, I'm straight. At least I thought I was. I've never had any doubts about my sexuality before now."  And, he hadn’t, not really. Danny was the only man he’d ever seriously thought about that way and it had scared him at first.  It still did if he was being really honest with himself, but after much soul-searching, not a common occurrence on his part, he decided he owed it to himself to at least talk to Danny about what he was feeling.

"Steve, what brought this on? What happened to make you start thinking about this after all this time?"

Steve sighed as he thought back to that initial fleeting thought that Danny meant more to him than a best friend should. "It was a few months ago. You asked if I wanted to go grab dinner and a beer after work one night, but I had plans with Lynn and begged off. But, I realized I was disappointed because I would rather have had dinner with you than with her."

"But," Danny started to interrupt.

"I know. I know. Maybe it just meant I wasn't really into her anymore and it didn't have anything to do with you. Hell, even if it did have to do with you, there's just sometimes when a guy would rather hang out with his buddy than with his girl. No big deal, right? I tried to brush it off, but then I began to notice other things after that and it became more and more difficult to tell myself that my feelings for you were strictly friendly." One of those things was how happy he had been when Danny and Melissa had broken up a couple months ago. It had also not gone unnoticed by Steve that Danny hadn't dated anyone else since then.

"What other things?" Danny asked.

"Well," Steve explained, "I found myself looking for excuses to call you or spend time with you outside of work, even more so than normal. Whenever my mind wanders, it usually goes to you. One morning you walked into HQ and you were wearing this blue shirt and I thought to myself, 'my god, he looks good today.' Danny, you're always the first person I share things with. Hell, you're the only person I ever actually share my feelings with. Don't get me wrong, you aggravate the hell out of me, but I'm always happiest when I'm with you and I can't really see that changing. If you were a woman we'd probably be married with a couple of kids by now. I just can't picture my life without you in it. In my mind I can picture the future clear as day. I have no doubt you'll be there next to me when we're 80 ranting at me for not taking my pills." Steve looked at Danny anxiously. He had just bared his soul, which was hard for anybody, but it scared Steve nearly half to death.  He usually avoided even thinking about his feeling, much less making himself vulnerable by expressing them when he wasn’t sure they would be reciprocated.

"Steve, you've got to know that this is a lot to take in. You've kind of blindsided me here." Steve felt his heart sink, but before he could say anything Danny continued, "But, to be honest, my thoughts have been straying in this direction recently as well." _What? Did Danny just say what he thought he said?_ Steve felt the first real flicker of hope since this conversation started. "I think I've done a slightly better job of pushing those feelings down, but they've been there tickling my brain nonetheless."

"Okay, that's good, I guess,” Steve told him. “So you're scared shitless too, huh?"

"Oh yeah, scared shitless just about sums it up," Danny agreed. "Everything you just said. I feel the same way. Hell, I trust you with my kids. I even gave you half my liver. If those two things don't prove how much I love you, nothing could. Since Melissa and I broke up I haven't even thought about dating anyone else. I've been more content spending time with you outside of work than I've ever been spending time with anyone else. Hell we spend 80% of our waking hours together and when we're apart I find myself wondering what you're doing. You're the person I share everything with. You know everything there is to know about me … all my demons, all my regrets, all my dreams. I've shared more of myself with you than I've ever shared with anyone. But Steve, I've got to be totally honest with you. As much as I love you, I really don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life, so there appears to be one major hurdle to taking our relationship to a new level."

"Sex." Steve knew this topic would come up if Danny didn’t completely balk at his revelation, so he had given a lot of thought to how they should deal with it. 

"Yeah, sex."

"The way I see it, we have two options," Steve explained.  He had the advantage of having considered the situation already and he had come up with what he felt were some viable ways of handling the issue.

"I'm listening."

"One, we become platonic life-partners."

Danny snorted, "I can't believe you just said 'platonic life-partners' with a straight face."

"Shut up. Like I was saying, we could be platonic life-partners. Share everything but sex and agree that we can each find that elsewhere."

"I'm not sure I like that one. It doesn't sound much different than what we are now. We'll keep it on the table though. What's option two?"

Steve took a deep breath and slowly let it out, he was about to go for broke. He looked into Danny's eyes and tried to relay how seriously he was taking this, "We see if we're compatible." He gave a quick nod, so Danny would realize that this was the most logical solution to the problem.

For some reason, Danny appeared shocked by the suggestion. "Compatible? You mean sexually compatible?"

"Yes, Danny, sexually compatible. You and me. We see if we're sexually compatible. I mean, if we are, that's a major hurdle overcome, right?" Danny was being obtuse again. Surely he could see that if they were sexually compatible the biggest obstacle to taking their relationship from friends to something more would be removed. And, the only way to find out was to put it to the test.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Have you ever been with a guy before?"

"No. I've never been with a guy before, never even kissed one or thought about it really. Even in the Navy there were always plenty of women around when I wasn't on a mission, but who knows; maybe it doesn't always have to be about gender. Maybe the fact that we love each other will be enough. What about you? You ever been with a guy?" Danny would probably say it was because he had control issues, but Steve hoped Danny would say no.  If they were going to try this, Steve really wanted them to be on even footing.  If the answer was yes though, he’d deal with it. It didn’t bother him that Danny had been with women, so he knew it shouldn’t bother him if he’d been with other men. It kind of did though. Ugh.

"No, can't say that I have. I've always been pretty firmly entrenched in the heterosexual lifestyle. I've always been attracted to women, so I never saw the need to look elsewhere."  Before Steve could process his relief at Danny’s answer, the other man reverted to norm.  "I will say though that you're awfully pretty Steve McGarrett, so who knows…. It's worth a try, I guess."

Steve smiled and leaned forward.  All he heard from Danny was permission granted.  That is until his partner put up a hand and stopped him. Steve fell back in his seat. "Woah there, babe. Let's talk this through first."

"Always with the talking, Danny. You know I'm more of an action kind of guy." Now that Danny seemed to be on board with the whole finding out if they were compatible thing, Steve wanted to find out as soon as possible.

"Steve, you're my best friend. The best friend I've ever had. I don't want to lose that. I don't want things to become awkward between us. And let me tell you, babe, things could definitely become awkward."

"Danny, I think after this conversation, that ship has already sailed."

"Humph. Good point. Okay, let's get this over with."

"So romantic."

"Shut up, Neanderthal, and kiss me."

Permission actually granted, Steve turned, and putting his hands on the cushion on either side of Danny's hips, he leaned forward. The first kiss was soft, tentative, almost chaste. They both pulled back slightly to look into the other's eyes and then they both leaned in for a second taste. This time there was no hesitation from either of them. It started slowly, but quickly turned heated. After a few minutes, the partners pulled apart, both breathing heavily.

Danny, of course, was the first to speak. "Well, that was unexpected. I believe everything I ever thought I knew about myself was just shot all to hell."

Steve grinned. "You have very soft lips, Danno."

"And you are a big goof," Danny shook his head and smiled. "So, I guess we're doing this?"

"Looks like it."

They both leaned back against the couch, side-by-side, each lost in his own thoughts. After a few minutes, Steve reached for Danny’s hand and gave it a squeeze. He thought that for tonight, first base was just about right.  At least he didn’t strike out. They continued to sit in silence for several moments before Danny looked at him and asked, "So, are we gay now? Bi?"

"Do we really need to label it? I'm committed to you and I don't see that changing. I don't need to try to figure out who else I'd want to sleep with because that would be no one. I just want to be with you." Steve had had enough introspection for a while, he just wanted them to move forward in their relationship and he saw no need to analyze things any further.

"Okay, then."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

They both turned to face forward again, now touching from shoulders to knees, hands still clasped. In synch, they both leaned back against the cushions once again and let out exhausted breaths. The late hour and rollercoaster of emotions finally catching up with them, they were both asleep in minutes.

The next morning, Grace entered the living room and found her dad and Uncle Steve, wrapped around each other, fast asleep on the couch. She shook her head. "It's about damn time."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, especially those who read "Did You Mean It?", I hope you enjoyed reading it a second time from Steve's perspective.


End file.
